


Thor's Odyssey

by Inwitari_Turelie



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Cliche, Female Loki, Gen, Jötunn Loki, M/M, Minor Loki/Thor, Not Canon Compliant, Not Shippy, Pre-Canon, Thor is traumatised, as in it's happened in an alternate universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-05
Updated: 2013-10-05
Packaged: 2017-12-28 11:55:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/991723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inwitari_Turelie/pseuds/Inwitari_Turelie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Thor offends an enemy, he finds himself stuck in a series of strange Asgards. Somehow he has to get back to his home and the family  he knows, but some of his encounters make him start to question what he's always believed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thor's Odyssey

Asgard is known as a nation of warriors throughout the Nine Realms and beyond. There is more to their nation than that but it is a reputation they take pains to uphold; for to uphold it is to uphold stability. So it has become their tradition and has shaped it's culture.

For all that Thor will admit to himself, though not to his brother who would no doubt lecture him about it umimpressed, that Thor does perhaps seek out battle perhaps a little more than the norm. He knows he is a Prince of Asgard and for all his pride in his title and knowledge that he is well-loved though he would never, could never, admit it to that sometimes he worries that he will disappoint his people. He does not have the way with words of his father or his brother nor does he enjoy having to listen to the boring complaints of delegations from other realms. Even Thor Odinsson, Prince of Asgard, Heir Apparent of the Realm Eternal can feel uncertain if he has acted correctly. Especially when his brother's glare suggests otherwise. This is not a problem Thor has ever felt when fighting. That art is one he knows he is born to and it is through it that he demonstrates his worthiness to rule. 

So for him there is nothing quite like a fight.  During combat Thor feels freed from all his worries, from all his responsibilities. He just _is._

Now as they skirmish with these Völvur, who have dared to attempt to damage his realm, Thor is Asgard’s might incarnate.  Even here on the borders of Nornheim Thor is the conduit for the power of the storm. Thor is the thunder; Thor is the lightning that strikes down the blights of Yddgrasil. He will destroy those who do not belong in the Nine Realms.

One of the Völvur they are fighting looks up at Thor in sudden interest, and suddenly even he can tell, can hear, that the galdr she weaves changes.

“I don’t belong in this world? Perhaps that is something you need a taste of, Thunderer?” 

 

Thor suddenly feels dizzy. He is no elemental force, but simply a boy trying to be a Prince, and now he is quite sure that something he has done is wrong. That somehow he has failed. 

 

* * *

  

Thor wakes up to Sif’s concerned face, framed by bandages of her own. He looks to her right and sees his mother next to her.

Something is wrong.

Thor is not sure why he knows this. None of the above is unusual.  Not all his friends are allowed to stand vigil, Sif tends to win the duty due to both stubbornness and that the healers, imagining a relationship that does not exist, treat her almost as a member of his family rather than a friend. Odin’s absence is unsurprising. His father cannot leave Hliðskjálf for long; were Thor in true danger he would stay, but he cannot make such an exception when Thor isn’t.  Thor blinks before looking for the third figure in this triptych.

Loki is not there.

Loki is not always there. Sometimes Loki goes searching for ways for fix him as if he knows better than the healers, but this was more common in past for all that Thor suffered few injuries of any danger then. Still, Loki has ever been stubborn; even as child when Thor had done little more than sprained an ankle. Now though Loki does not leave unless he truly deems it necessary perhaps having discovered over a childhood of misadventures that Healers do in fact know what they are doing. Loki still leaves sometimes when he feels that the Healers are not quick enough or lack confidence in their success and though Thor wishes his brother would rely on others more he cannot deny that sometimes Loki's actions have even been helpful.  Still though Thor also finds it difficult to sit and wait when Loki is injured he, who has ever been at his best amongst his friends, has never quite understood the aversion to relying on others that seems to drive Loki.  Thor does not find this trait of his brother too worrying though. After all Loki has improved in more recent years, why, Thor has hardly not woken to his brother waiting for him since Sif has been allowed to stay. Perhaps she has become a good influence on him though admittedly the idea of Sif calming someone is an odd one. Whatever the reasons Thor has become used to waking to to this familiar trio.

Yet Loki is not here and Thor cannot be too badly injured for he is awake and not in undue pain. Although he admits he is not quite sure what happened before he woke up. He must ask; little as he likes to do so.

"Mother?"

“Thor, thank Yddgrasil, you are alright?”

“What happened?”

Sif answers “Those Völvur cast some sort of enchantment over you. We could not defeat them, and yet since you did not wake, Heimdall brought us back to Asgard”

Yet this has not answered Thor question's true question,  for there has been no explanation for his brother’s absence, he starts to worry that Loki has been injured too.

“Where is Loki?”

His mother and Sif look at him in confusion

 “What?”

Thor begins to feel agitated, it is a simple enough question and surely even an expected one, there is no need for them to look so blank.

He asks again, “Where is my brother?”

“Thor, you do not have a brother.” Sif says firmly despite her apparent confusion.

“What are you saying?”

He does not understand, of course he has a brother.  Loki has been there as long as he can remember. They cannot be denying Loki’s existence. People do not disappear into nothing. Thor will have a brother until either of them meets their death.

Suddenly he feels like he can’t breathe.

No.

Loki cannot be dead. If Loki was dead they would surely not deny him. If Asgard tells many tales of its living heroes, it tells still more of it's dead. Even the funeral feast is a place to share stories of those who have been lost. In this a way they keep the dead with them even as they free their spirits to reach Valhalla.

“Thor, are you alright?” Sif asks worriedly

“Is he dead, is my brother dead?”

Now it’s his mother’s turn to look at him in concern.

“Thor, you have never had a brother, and we know no-one named Loki”

Thor wants to scream with frustration. He thinks maybe he does. Either way he does know that he yells his response of “How can you say that? How can you deny your own son’s existence?”

They call the healers.

 

 

 

As he falls into sedated sleep, he realises what was wrong, what _else_ was wrong.  He could not see much under the bandages, but Sif does not have blonde hair.

 

* * *

"Mother?"

“I do worry so. It’s quite fair for your Father to do so, you are so very like him that it’s only wergild for the pain he caused his own parents, but I certainly did nothing to deserve this”

Thor suddenly feels guilty. She is right, it is not fair. Yet it is hardly his fault that enemies plague Asgard and he is needed to smite them from existence.  Besides which that is not of great importance here. Right now, he needs to find his brother.

“Mother, when I woke the last time?”

He has not finished his question when she interrupts him, “Thor, this the first time you have woken since you returned”

“Oh” _Oh_ “It must have been a dream then”

It was more a nightmare but there is no reason to burden his mother with that.  Still it matters not. It never happened. Everything is fine. _Loki_ is fine. Or at least he hopes so. Loki is not here and may still be injured, though Thor does not see him around. Of course, their family has privacy here from the rest of Asgard but he and Loki have always healed better together.

Nonetheless, he must ask, he cannot chance it. Not now.

“Do you know where Loki is?”

“Hoenir’s son? Had you arranged to meet him”

Thor does not understand. Hoenir’s son? Hoenir is a longstanding friend of his father’s. He knows that; for all the old man makes visits to court rarely, but Thor is unaware that he has a son. Certainly he has never heard that he has a son called Loki. Surely two friends would not name their sons the same and yet again his mother has failed to mention his brother.

“Thor you look confused”

Thor thinks quickly. He is not Loki, he has no clever lie on his tongue but he cannot chance being labelled mad again. He is not used to being disbelieved and he finds he does not much like it. More importantly he must stay awake and unsuspected of any illness of the mind for otherwise he will have no chance to save his brother. He has to retrieve Loki, his younger brother is his responsibility.

He worries that he delays too much but in the end he simply says “No, I just thought he would be here for some reason.”

Mother purses her lips “Perhaps he will be here soon then, will we make a seer of you yet, Thor Frigguson?”

Thor smiles despite his worry, it is an old joke between the two of them and he responds in kind with “I think you’ll be waiting til Ragnarok mother.”

Yet maybe he has inherited her talent. He did dream that Loki was not seen as his brother before he woke. Yet though visions are imperfect, he does not know why he should dream of there being no Loki when here this is one, albeit recognised as another man’s son.

Thankfully, his Mother has not noticed his inner turmoil as she has continued talking “Perhaps it would be worth trying to get Hoenir to give up his son for a while, you could do with someone with knowledge of seiðr on your quests and Loki could do with meeting more respectable Aesir.”

Thor gets the feeling Loki’s current companions are seen as rather disreputable. He does remember that Hoenir has something of a reputation as a wanderer.

“Will I be able to get up soon?”

His mother smiles “We will have to ask Eir, I think she may want you to stay one more night at least in her charge.”

Thor scowls, that is the last thing he needs.

Thankfully, Eir releases him, on the condition he stays in his rooms, preferably in his bed, though he can tell she doubts he will, and does not exert himself. He makes his way to his own rooms making sure to pass his brother’s, only to see that here Loki’s chambers do not exist. There are rooms there, but they are not Loki’s rooms, and they have not been altered to his brother’s suite.

Then he plans. He must find out whether this Loki is his Loki. Somehow he must summon this Loki Hoenirson to meet. His mother did not seem to think it odd that they should meet so it cannot be too difficult to arrange.

Thor’s manservant comes with his meal and Thor takes the chance to ask if he has heard any talk that Hoenir and his son are coming to visit.

Birgir looks at him oddly but responds that his is not aware of such rumours.

“Still” the man continues “You can never tell with their Lordships and Ladyship, your highness, I would not be surprised if they appeared with no warning”

“Aye?”

Birgir shifts uncomfortably “Well, you know how they are. Still young Lord Loki is a nice lad, always a smile on his face, and his parents are certainly easier to satisfy than many that stay here.”

“Indeed” Thor replies, for it seems an answer is necessary.  In truth he has begun to wonder if this Loki is his Loki. His brother prefers to keep his emotions more private than most. He smiles with Thor, he does not bestow them on a random servants. Perhaps he is on the wrong track, he does not remember Hoenir having a wife; if he has missed that then perhaps he has missed that the man has a son. Perhaps whatever enchantment has taken Loki away has done so as in his dream and that has left the name free for this other boy.

The man is silent after that while he comports his duties.

After he leaves and Thor is thinking of going to bed, Sif arrives. Thor’s first thought is that she looks badly injured and should probably not be out of the Healing Rooms, it is much worse than his dream vision. His second, is that he cannot confide in her, Thor trusts Sif with his life but does not deny that if she thought it would do him good she would report his problem elsewhere. His third is that thankfully this Sif has dark hair. To see her with golden locks again would have been too strange.

“Sif!” he greets her trying to continue with his façade of  his usual ebullience “Should you not be being tended to?”

“I will survive Thor, and how are you?”

“Quite recovered.”

“Indeed?”

“Do not mock me Sif, I am, and actually have been thinking that I am in need of company.”

“Am I not company enough then?” she teases

“That is a hard question to answer, Lady Sif, but while your company is most welcome, I have been wondering if I might not expand our group a little”

“Who is it you have in mind then?”

“Loki.”

“Loki Hoenirson?”

“Aye.”

“Is this a ploy?”

“What?”

“No, you are not the type for that. Did you take a blow to the head I did not notice”

“Speak clearly Sif”

“You must admit are being odd Thor.”

“How so?”

“Well, _I_ like Loki , you know that, without the haircut we conspired together it might have been much harder to convince my mother of my chosen path as a warrior”

“And?” Thor responds despite how she has thrown him. That what Loki did to Sif’s hair had been agreed on beforehand has never occurred to him nor seemed likely, “why do you tell me of that?”

“Because you never have Thor. You have always complained that people expected you to befriend him as your father did his father”

“Well, I have, that is” Thor fumbles for the right words, for an adequate reason “I have decided that I have been limiting myself”

Sif stares at him

“that, um, I’ve lost a possible friend in attempting to defy people”

“So now you’ll do as they wish?”

“No, now I’ll see how I like him as person and base my feelings of that not what over people get”

“You have always had a good heart Thor and I have been glad you have overcome this.”

Thor feels uneasy, this heartfelt personal praise from Sif somehow feels different from the cheers of the feasting hall or when his father celebrates his achievements.

Her next words manage to make it both much easier and much worse “Some of us have to defy their expectations to be ourselves, I did not like to see you do it due to a fit of pique.”

“It was not just that” Thor argues back. In truth he does not know how the situation Sif remembers is but he’s sure there must have been some better reason than he is hearing.

“Well, if I’m allowed any import on this matter Mighty Thor, I will say that I hope you will be friends, you alone are as open-minded as he”

“Thank you, but Sif, you really must return to the Healing Rooms”

“Because you are so good at that?”

“I am not so badly injured Sif”

“Alright, Thor. I will return and tell them that Prince Thor has sent me back”

 

 

Once Sif has gone Thor realises how tired he is. Well, he muses, he cannot do much more tonight and decides to head back to his bed.

 

* * *

  

The next morning Thor when Thor wakes up there is someone in bed next to him. He thinks back, he certainly did not take someone to bed with him. He is trying to find his brother, not dallying with maidens. Surely someone would not sneak into his bed though. He cannot imagine that a woman would chance entrapping him that way nor that they could manage to find a way into his guarded rooms to do so.

His room is cooler than its norm too. He pulls his blanket around him and thankfully at least it seems that the other is not holding on to it. He has a considerate unwanted bedmate at least.

Still, he cannot stay wrapped in his sheets he must discover the identity of his intruder. He is nearly out of bed when his movements wake the other up.

“Thor?”

The figure asks before lighting the room with a hand gesture. For a moment before the room is lit Thor suddenly wonders if it is Loki, strange as that would be, but once they are illuminated he’s able to see otherwise.

The figure in his bed is blue.

Blue.

With blood red eyes and raised lines on his skin.

There is a Frost Giant in his bed.

Why there is a Frost Giant in is bed?

How can there be a Frost Giant in his bed?

Admittedly it’s a rather tiny Frost Giant. A child?               

Thor does not know how he is supposed to cope with a Frost Giant Child. You are supposed to kill Frost Giants but there is no honour in killing children.  Mjolnir lies by his foot and he doesn’t know whether to call it up to his hand or not.

“You’re staring. I thought you’d become used to the sight of me by this point”

The Frost Giant doesn’t sound like a child. The more Thor the situation unfolds the less sense it makes.

“How could I be used to the sight of you?”

“Thor?” The creature sits up and reaches out to him.

Thor reacts instinctively. A Frost Giant would never touch an Asgardian save in war. However something stays him from making a final blow. Perhaps that Thor had touched the other without pain in the bed. So even as he calls Mjolnir he leaps forward and pins the creature down rather than using the hammer immediately.

“Thor what are you doing?” The creature says suddenly with fear in its voice for the first time.

Thor stops. The creature is not squirming and trying to get away but lies there submissively. He puts the hammer down and instead puts that hand round the Frost Giants other wrist. That plea had sounded familiar, yet he is not such a fool as to free a Frost Giant.

He looks down into the creature’s face. The hair is strange; he had never been told Frost Giants had hair. They never had hair in the storybook illustrations nor in the records of the battle.  It almost gives this one a feminine look. Perhaps the creature is a female; after all none of the pictures Thor had seen had looked like women.  Yet strangely Thor thinks the hair should be shorter. Somehow beneath the blue colour and the rough skin, the features are familiar.

Impossibly familiar.

It must be a coincidence.

He cannot not ask though.

“Loki?”

“Of course, you oaf” Loki replies, his response achingly familiar, before taking advantage of Thor’s relief to throw his brother off him and sitting upright “Who else would I be?”

It does make more sense for his brother to share his bed than a random pygmy Frost Giant but Thor does not still does not understand what would possess his brother to look like that.  Loki can be a bit odd but he has never been that strange. His brother hates the Frost Giants as much as any Asgardian. When they were small, Loki had made Thor check for them under his bed. Loki would not choose to look like this. By Valhalla, Thor had almost, had almost, hurt him. If he had not recognised him Loki might have made of him a Kinslayer. Thor could not have lived after doing so to his brother.

Thor sits up so he is not looking up at his brother. He cannot not ask “Why in Yggdrasil do you look like that?”

Loki looks down at himself, somewhat self-consciously “You said none would enter your rooms in the night, that I was free to look as I am, that I need not glamour myself in Aesir skin”

The only explanation Thor can come up with is that Loki has gone mad. Unless he has been enchanted somehow. Did the völvur capture his brother and trap him in some galdr to confuse even Loki of whom Loki is even as they be bespelled everyone else?

“Look as you are? Loki, you are Asgardian”

Loki blinks. Then “Who are you?” he asks suspiciously.

“What do you mean, you know who I am, it is you who is acting strange.”

“I know my lover and you are not he. I had thought perhaps you were confused from drinking too much last night, or disoriented by a nightmare, but you are not Thor.”

“I am Thor, I am Thor Odinsson and” Thor’s thought processes come to a screeching halt “Did you say lover?”

“Aye.”

“You cannot be my lover” says Thor as he shudders in revulsion, Loki is his little brother, he could never lie with him.

“Is it hard for you to imagine your Prince lying with one of the Jötnar? Oh it is, isn’t it?”

“Loki, you are my brother”

Loki blinks again.

“You are not Byleistir, I would recognise mine own brother”

“What? No I have told you the truth of my identity. I am Thor, Brother you must remember me”

“Oh”

“What?”

“You are not my Thor” Loki speaks even as he moves closer and puts a hand on Thor’s forehead “I had thought I detected some traces of a galdr but I did not wish to speak of it til I knew more” His hand trails down the side of Thor’s face and over his shoulders while he speaks “Yet, I do not think your body has travelled, solely the mind has been affected”

Thor pushes Loki away. There was nothing romantic in Loki’s touch, it was purely perfunctory, Thor has seen Loki do as much to walls to find  seiðr -hidden doors. Yet, it only makes him miss his brother more, for this man, however much he may resemble Loki is not his Loki.

“Speak clearly”

“Yggdrasil as we know it is but one facet of the truth of the tree, yes?”

“Yes, the wise believe we only see one dimension of the tree”

“So you’re not a total fool. You are from a different growth of the tree to this one, Somehow your mind has travelled from the one you are born in to this one”

“That explains much.” The vision had been no vision but another elsewhere where the branches had kinked differently and the world of Loki Hoenirson had been yet another. “I had no idea such was possible”

“Neither had I” This Loki grins “It was pure theory here til now”

“Has your Thor swapped with me then?” Thor asks, he feels uneasy at the idea of his Loki being near a Thor who looks at him romantically. He would not have his brother’s view of him distorted.

“I do not think so. I think he is still here somehow, sleeping while you control his body.” This Loki looks at Thor in determination “We have to send you back”

“I hardly argue with you there, Loki” Thor grimaces as he says the Frost Giant’s name “is there something else I can call you?”

“And now on top of everything else, you ask me to change my name?”

Thor blushes, it is unfair to the other.

“Worry not, it’s strange for me too, to hear how you say it, when you have the body of my lover, Call me Loptr.”

“Loptr?”

“A nickname my family gave me.” Loptr shrugs

It hurts. This Loki is not Loki. He hardly even looks like Loki. Yet Thor’s heart does ache to hear him talk of another family Thor has no place in.

“And what can I call you?”

It is only fair turnaround Thor realises and it must be harder for Loptr since Thor looks no different to his Thor. Yet Thor has no other name. He has kennings, but he knows not which exist here too.

“Your Loki did not name you then?”

“No, not really”

“Hmm, I think I will call you Stígand for now?”

“Stígand?”

“Is it inappropriate? You _have_ stepped between growths of the World Tree. So Stígand I think we had better dress. We have a library to explore.

Loptr strolls over to Thor’s wardrobe with a confidence that bespeaks a familiarity before picking out a red tunic and throwing it over to Thor. In truth the tunic is so close to orange that it hardly deserves the name of red. Thor has always hated it and of course of all the things to stay the same when the world is in such disarray this blasted thing would still exist.

“You cannot be expecting me to wear this?”

“Oh, do you hate it too? Strange that that should be so when so much is different”

Thor dresses with a scowl, studiously looking away from Loptr. Were it Loki he would feel no shame in dressing together but this is not the same at all.

When he turns around he has to look again to reassure himself. Where Loptr was standing, now stands to all purposes Loki.

“You look like a muppet Stígand, close your mouth” Loptr’s tone softens “He looks like this, then?”

“I would believe you were my brother if your words did not belie your appearance”

Thankfully the outfit Loptr wears is nothing of Loki’s that Thor recognises. It looks Asgardian and the colours are not dissimilar to what his brother would choose, but in other ways it is quite different. Loki would not choose an outfit with bare arms for a start. It also seems more casual than Loki’s norm in some way Thor can’t quite pick out.

“It is strange to imagine there is a world where I am your brother. A world where I died or where we never meet seems a simple enough quirk of fate, but for me to be born Aesir is passing strange. Are you sure that your Loki is your brother?”

“I am as sure of Loki’s blood as I am mine own”

“If you say so”

“Loptr, if I may ask, how met you this Asgard’s Thor?”

“It is not a short tale. We will lose time we could use more productively”

“I wish to know”

“You are stubborn, call us some breakfast and I will tell you then”

“Will they not think it odd you breakfast in my room?”

“Do you never breakfast with your friends?”

Loptr makes a fair point so Thor does as he says and in return Loptr tells his tale.

Apparently they had met in Nidavellir.

Thor interrupts “Nidavellir? How were you there? I thought the Frost Giants could not leave Jotunheim”

Loptr scowls “We _Jötnar_ were trapped on our world after what your father took and what he destroyed however not all was lost. There were still records of how both our peoples travelled before the Casket and the Bifrost”

“The Skywalkers? I thought the art was lost”

“It was.” Loptr looks down “Once we managed to obscure Heimdall’s gaze, we made attempts to relearn it but there were only failures and injuries for far too long. We think our final success with me was only since I am so small”

Loptr is the same size as Loki. Thor has not really thought of his size once he realised Loptr was not a child but Loptr is much the same height as Thor and while that would be at the taller end of the Aesir, he must be very small amongst the Frost Giants.

“Yet you still tried despite the danger?” he asks

“What else could I do? Leave my realm to die a slow death?”

Thor feels admonished but before he can say anything Loptr continues.

Thor feels he is getting a somewhat abridged version of the tale but it seems that Loptr was in some sort of disagreement with the dwarves when Thor had intervened on the side of Loptr as he believed  him to be another Asgardian.

Loptr had joined their group after that for that trip and after some affair with a dragon they become close shield-brothers. Loptr seems to think his Thor was already infatuated from the start but Thor thinks that unlikely. Thor does not deny he can appreciate an attractive man but he is no ergi.

At some point, after Thor had brought Loptr, who had claimed to be half-Vanir and from the outlying regions of that realm, to Asgard a few times, they had become lovers. Here Loptr is clearly accommodating Thor’s sensibilities in what he leaves out, Thor has not wish to hear of such assignations with one who is so like to his brother. Still, they are not young to be lovers but they do seem young for the strength of commitment they seem to bear each other.

What Loptr leaves out though, causes Thor’s mind to buzz with questions. He must believe that his counterpart does not unman himself in their coupling but he cannot understand how Loptr can be so comfortable as to allow it.

“You allow him to take you?”

“I do”

“You do not fear being labelled ergi?”

Loptr cocks his head “Ah, this is that Asgardian idea Thor goes on about isn’t it? We have no such concept amongst the Jötnar”

Apparently satisfied the matter is settled Loptr continues. Thor on the other hand can only think that he had not realised the Jötnar were so uncivilised.

At some point Loptr had slipped in keeping himself looking Asgardian and Thor had forced the whole tale out. Somehow after some arguments their relationship had returned to what it was. This Thor understands the least. Loki is his little brother and Thor cannot even think of him in such a light that he would be attracted to him but he is aware that objectively Loki is a good looking young man. No brother of his could not be and he has heard Sif talk derisively of those ladies of the court who have, or imagine themselves to have, fallen for him.  Loptr however is a different matter, they may be almost Loki’s features but he cannot see how covered in that hide, anyone but another denizen of Jotunheim could find him attractive.

Loptr apparently hopes that he and his Thor will forge a true peace between Asgard and Jotunheim. Thor feels sorry for the other, that is no easy task, and there is little that could keep such an agreement permanent. Even if they succeed Loptr will lose personally eventually as he will lose Thor to whomever becomes his Queen.

“Why are you pitying me?”

“Pardon?”

“Your expressions are not so different to the Thor I know. You are pitying me and you did not when I told you of my world, so what makes you pity me now?”

“You will lose him in the end”

Loptr laughs, “No, No I do not think I will.” He says it with such finality that Thor cannot argue. Loptr’s smirk signifies he knows some secret that Thor does not.

“Now, how about you tell me your tale of how you came to be here, such stories are best told in private and I’ve had little time to eat.” Loptr demands.

So Thor tells him of the different worlds he’s been in. His encounter with the  Völvur . The world without Loki, where Loki acerbically points out that assuming that there is no Loki simply because Thor does not know one is a rather Thor-Centric view of the world. Then of the world of Loki Hoenirsson. Loki interrupts rather less than Thor did, apparently more concerned with eating.

“So the worlds change when you sleep?”

“It seems so”

“How odd. Shall we head to the library then?”

“Are you still so concerned with unravelling this now you know your Thor will return to you soon?”

“We do not know, we only know it seems likely, thrice suggests a pattern but it does not prove it. Besides which you cannot give me such a revelation and not expect me to study it.”

  
Thor follows Loptr there. It is strange, Asgard itself seems unchanged from the one he knows. Loki seems the only point of difference and yet that is such a large difference.

They are less than successful in the library. Thor can tell Loptr is getting infuriated at their lack of process. They find books which tell of the different concurrent growths of Yggdrasil but nothing of what lies between.

Sif comes at one point to ask him to the training fields. She seems more contemptuous of Loptr than his Sif is of Loki.

“She’s jealous you know” Loptr says after she leaves.

“Who, Sif?”

“Who else?”

“Sif is like a sister to me”

Loptr raises an eyebrow sardonically as Thor realises the irony of what he has said.

“Anyhow she does not love me save as a friend”

“Maybe she doesn’t, maybe she does, it’s always been an expectation of the two of you though, even if she only sees you as a friend you cannot blame her for being disappointed.”

They work through ‘til dinner. Suddenly the amount Loki was so keen on eating at breakfast makes sense.  Strangely his mother comes to summon them herself rather than sending a messenger.

She looks at Thor’s clothing in surprise “I did not think you liked that tunic Thor”

“I don’t”

“Well, you are attired better than I feared but I’d still suggest you change for the feast. We are welcoming Vanaheim's delegation tonight”

Ah, that explains why she has come, Thor is a little upset she does not trust him to dress himself properly but then Thor has a tendency to forget important dates. In fact he had been wondering what they are celebrating as he does not remember much of importance happening back home but had admitted that does not mean much. Loki has always been the one to remind him of matters of importance.

“And I hope we will be graced with your presence Loki?”

“I cannot deny Your Majesty’s’ wishes.”

“Are you staying long this time?”

“A while.”

“I hope my son is not planning to monopolise all your time, I have had an idea of how to improve the range of my scrying I meant to talk to you about.”

“You are much more gifted in those in arts than myself, but I will offer what meagre insights I can” Despite Loptr’s claims Thor can tell he is fascinated.

After his mother leaves Thor notes “She likes you.”

“Yes, I have thought so. It is bizarre.”

“How so?”

“Sometimes, I think she has suspicions, of us, of who I claim to be, yet she seems to like me still.”

At the welcome feast. Thor still can’t remember if this too, was to happen at home but in the scheme of things it matters little.

Loki is sat near them, high up the table. It not unusual for his friends to be honoured thus and indeed Loki is sat next to Fandral but it does seem strange from what Loki has told him of his supposed background. He sees his mother’s hand at work though he like Loki struggles to understand her motivation. 

After they retire Thor looks at the bed in trepidation. Loptr had gone off to rooms of his own, which Thor assumes they maintain for the look of the thing but he does not know if the other plans to return here to be here for the return of his lover. 

 

 

In the end, the lure of his bed overcomes his concerns. Loptr does not appear before he falls asleep.

 

* * *

  

Thor wakes alone.

His room is slightly different to the one other-him shared with Loptr, but he does not know what the combinations of possessions he has here signifies.  He hopes Loptr was reunited with his Thor, he cannot help but hope for the best for a boy so like his brother despite his species. Even if the best entailed situations Thor is carefully not thinking about.

As he rises he notices a pendant Loki had had gifted to him as a child on his bedside table. Thor has never been quite sure what about the stone Loki had thought was like to him but Loki had always insisted it reminded him of Thor and so Thor must have it.

Surely this means Thor is home. That he will see his brother finally. That there will no more strangeness. It anyone can free him from the curse that ails him it will be his brother.

He dresses quickly and heads to his breakfast. If he is lucky Loki will be there.

Loki is not there.

His mother and father are but there is no Loki.

Still, Thor remains sanguine, Loki has ever been a later riser than Thor, his brother may still be on his way or may simply be breakfasting in his rooms or somewhere else. They are too old to always eat with their parents.

It is perhaps as well that Thor cannot see the door from his seat. Else he would be constantly looking for signs of his brother coming and his parents would surely notice his odd behaviour.

“Ah, so you are coming after all, then Loki” says his Father and only in his spilt second of relief then does Thor realise that this is how tense he was before.

“We cannot all be Thor, Father” replies a voice which dashes all Thor’s hopes for it is not Loki.

A dark-haired maiden sits down next to their Mother.

“Morning Thor, Morning Mother”                                                                                                                                    

While his mother greets her back Thor tries to settle his thoughts. He has a _sister._ Well, he doesn’t but this Thor does.

Thor has no idea what one does with a sister. He will never trick her into thinking he is her Thor, he will have to come clean as he did to Loptr.

In fact, why is he even thinking of trying to keep it a secret from her? Had he not thought earlier that Loki was his best chance of fixing this?

Loki’s gender has no bearing on that, no more than Sif’s has on the fact that she is the best warrior Thor knows. He will talk to her after breakfast; there is no need to worry his parents if he can avoid it. He does not wish for them to again believe he is not in his right mind.

While he waits he regards this Loki. She is truly a woman not simply his brother with different anatomy. Yet he can see his brother in her features. The eyes are the same changeable shade and he thinks he sees some similarity in the overall shape of her face.

She is very attractive. That Thor cannot deny and indeed she is not similar enough to his brother for him not to notice. Thor has always thought Sif looked much improved with darker hair and now as he thinks back it is true, he does have a slight preference for darker-haired maidens.  

She leaves before he has the chance to talk to her but thankfully it seems that she and his brother share the same rooms.

When he enters he is thrown for a moment. The room itself is the same as his brother's yet it is furnished differently. There are more tapestries on the walls and more chairs in her solar. Yet she has many of the same books of Loki on her shelves. It is odd.

“What do you want Thor, or did you just come to stare at my room as if you have been concussed?”

“I have something to tell you.”

“Indeed?”

“Can we sit?”

She rolls her eyes “If we must.”

Once they are sat down Thor continues “I am not your brother”

“Well, you’re certainly done a good job of imitating Thor. Why tell me otherwise? Or is this a prequel to admitting you are about to abduct me?”

That was not the response Thor was expecting. He takes a moment to regain his thought before he responds “No. I mean I am Thor Odinsson.”

“Well make up your mind”

“I am Thor but I am not the Thor you know. I come from another growth of Yddgrasil.”

“Is this a joke, Thor?”

“No. I swear is it not”

The girl stares into his eyes. “You never have been one for lies. So why are you here Other-Thor, and why tell me?”

“I am not here of my own free will. When we were fighting an enemy they ensnared me in their galdr l and now whenever I lose consciousness I wake up in another Asgard. I hoped you might know something of how to stop it, your last counterpart thought he did”

“He?” Girl-Loki asks frowning.

“You were a man.”

“That is strange. Was anything else different?”

“No Asgard seemed unchanged save for you”

“And I was male?”

“Aye, that was not so strange to me, for you are my brother in my home, but there you were a Frost Giant”

“What?!”

“I was very strange”

“It sounds disturbing”

“It was rather. You were very personable for a Frost Giant though”

‘’That is not so very reassuring. I can hardly imagine myself as a hulking beast.”

“If it helps any, you were no taller than me and had hair”

“So I was an odd Frost Giant then? No, don’t answer, it does help to know that actually. And you say I am male in your home too?”

“Yes”

“I did think you were staring at my breasts at breakfast. It was rather disquieting”

Thor flushes, he thought he had managed to avoid that.

“What am I like?”

“I’m sorry”

“What is he like then, your brother?”

“You look like him. Not freakishly so, but enough that you could be siblings.” Even as he said it he had realised how little that means given his own lack of resemblance to his brother, but he decides to continue “Loki is clever, he likes seiðr , he comes with our friends on our quests.” He pauses “Lady, what do you want to know?”

“Is he happy?”

“Why wouldn’t he be?”

“You are very like my Thor”

That is an odd response. Thor cannot fathom what she means. She clearly means more than she is saying but past that he does not know. In the end he tries to ask, saying “What is he like?”

“Fishing for compliments?”

“I would like to know”

“Thor is a great warrior, he is ever-glad save when his is angry, his best friends are the Warriors Three and the Lady Sif. He is not the most perceptive but he is kind. Is that enough for you?”

“I suppose”

Thor feels lost. She has said nothing that could not be said of him and yet somehow it rings false.

Loki fiddles with a bracelet she is wearing . Thor is not sure whether it’s a nervous gesture or simply a habit.

“Is that a present from an admirer? “ He asks nodding towards it.

“This? Oh no, I rather think Father has scared off any admirers of mine. He can be protective” she laughs “he has never been impressed with your friendship with Fandral ever since he tried to pay court to me once. No, it’s part of my Nameday present from our parents. They do spoil us”

Thor must have reacted somehow for she continues “Do not your parents do the same?”

“I guess they do”

“I do not know why I’m asking you, if you are anything like my Thor then you are just as bad. I have whole chests of offerings from you.”

Thor shrugs; there is not much of an answer he can give to that. It is not his doing.

“Thor” She stops and bites her lip before continuing “Why did you come to me? Why come to me and not our Father?”

“I trust you Loki”

“You mean you trust _your_ Loki. Do you not trust Father?”

“Of course I trust our father. It is simply that in my home I have always gone to my brother first and him to me. Then also in the first world I was in there was no Loki, or at least we knew none, and when I asked for my brother my parents thought me mad. It is not an experience I wish to repeat.”

Her face softens “I am sorry Thor.”

“It was not for long."

“I suppose. I guess you want me to unravel the enchantment.”

“You could?”

“I think so. At any rate if I cannot, then I doubt you will find anyone in Asgard who can”

“You have heard of this before”

“I have heard talk of such galdr.  Though I've Never looked into it before. I had other areas of more interest to me and I deal mostly in seiðr, so I will have to study”

Thor nods “Shall we head to the library then?”

She quirks an eyebrow “I have better books here than many there.”

“So we start here?”

“Yes. Wait. Damn.”

“What?”

“I’m supposed to be weaving with Mother this morning, I promised her and you’ve already made me late.”

“So what do we do?”

“I’m thinking Thor. Alright I will go to Mother and see if I can make my excuses though I promise nothing. You will go to the training grounds and amuse yourself there. I assume you can pretend to be my Thor?”

She rushes out after that. Thor feels rather annoyed; if she’d picked out books he could have read through looking for useful information as he did with Loptr.

Still he makes his way to the training grounds; some physical activity might do him well. He aches for a chance to use Mjolnir properly, much as he knows she is no practice weapon.

“Thor!” shouts a familiar voice

“Volstagg, my friend!”

“We were wondering if you had forgotten our plans to meet.”

“Nay, I was simply distracted talking to my sister.”

“And how is Princess Loki?” asks Fandral.

Thor is suddenly reminded of Loki’s comments about his friend and is not so sure he wishes to oblige him.

“As well as ever. Now whose turn is it to take their place against me?”

It is too easy to pretend to be the Thor they know. He laughs with them, he fights with them and but for the lack of Loki’s presence he could be at home. Nay, he can almost believe himself at home and that Loki is simply ensconced in the library or off visiting some mage somewhere in his quest to improve his seiðr .

Yet even as he fights he is distracted. He cannot but wonder what it means, that Loki changes in all these different Asgards while all else stays the same. Perhaps there are other worlds where all the changes are otherwise and Loki is all Thor would recognise from home and Thor has simply chanced to only visit ones where Loki has changed.

It is hard to convince himself of that.

It is even harder to tell himself that Loki’s changes do not mean anything. Thor has always believed that he and his brother were constant but this suggests otherwise.  Only in his own world has Loki been his brother.

What of Loki’s soul?

If Loki can be, and still recognisably be himself when a maiden, when a _Frost Giant,_ does that mean that there is nothing in Loki’s essence that makes him an Asgardian, a man, Thor’s brother?

Thor does not like these thoughts. Loptr had already raised many questions in his mind. He had not seemed like the Frost Giants of tales. He was a person and while Thor cannot comprehend his counterpart’s attraction to him; he had liked him well enough despite his species and his choices.

Certainly it will be more difficult for him to shrug off the whispers of his brother being ergi without secretly questioning it himself. Thor had never thought much of such rumours before. Their father uses seiðr when he wields Gungnir and none dare call him ergi. He has never understood why then Loki’s seiðr should cause them to question him. Now however he has met a version of his brother who allows himself to be taken and another who is female and he finds himself plagued by an uncertainty he could do without.

Thor almost hopes that this female version of Loki will not discover the solution for he wishes to encounter more worlds where Loki is more as he expects, that he can ignore these two worlds as an anomaly.

  

 

He gets the former part of his wish when in his distraction Hogun catches him too hard round the head with his mace and he falls into unconsciousness.

To his shock, when he wakes, this maiden Loki sits next to him.  He has not travelled.

“Thank Yddgrasil, I did not think that would work. Here take this and give it to my counterpart.”

Thor falls back into blackness.

 

* * *

  

Thor wakes in his bed again. He thinks it odd that he should wake here in the morning rather than at a time more fitting to when he lost consciousness but he supposes he knows little of how this spell works.

Perhaps, given that his location and clothing has changed, it is more curious that the piece of paper she had given him is still there in his hand. He looks at it but the collection of letters and numbers means nothing to him. Then again, Thor is no seiðmaðr nor philosopher, perhaps to an expert in the correct field the meaning is obvious.

Thor looks around. His realises with a sinking heart that his is not home, whatever she had managed to do it was not that.  This room is not so dissimilar yet there are a number of differences. Unlike the last time he cannot see Loki’s pendent but that means little enough. Thor may well have put it away somewhere.  There are less trophies of his victories but what implication that has he does not know.

Perhaps this Thor is less successful than he. In which case the reason for that is still unknown. Perhaps this Thor simply cares less for trophies. Whether because he values his triumphs less or because he feels no need to host proof of them or aught other reason.

These are not the important matters. Thor wishes to return home and see his brother, not these twisted reflections of him, again.

He almost dreads what he will see this time but he steels himself, dresses and heads out. Thor has ever been a man of action and he will not let this be the moment when he loses his courage.

He does not expect it to be so difficult to find Loki. He does not see Loki at breakfast and then despite all his efforts he cannot find Loki’s rooms. He walks towards the corridor they are on but every time he finds himself somewhere else. It is true Loki has been known to deny Thor entry to his rooms before. Mostly when they have argued though even when they have not have he has made it very difficult for Thor to enter them until Loki gives permission. Never though has Loki made it so that Thor cannot even approach his door. In fact, if he's completely honest Thor has a sneaking suspicion Loki  _enjoys_ hearing Thor's futile attempts to enter and the apologies that he's eventually reduced to. Thor does not begrudge his brother that. In the height of their anger it is probably better for there to be a barrier between them and if an apology is what is needed to regain his brother's trust he is happy to give it. Provided of course he does actually owe one otherwise his brother may wait in vain. Still Loki always lets him in eventually. Unless Thor has just be wearing down the spells with sheer force and obstinacy. It remains true however that Loki has never gone this far.  _  
_

“Thor, leave it.”

“Sif?”

“You will not manage to find a way there; I do not know why you try.”

“I need to talk to my brother.”

“Why, has the Allfather finally confronted you?”

“What? No.”

“Then I do not see why you labour in trying. Loki does not want to talk to you and ‘til now I thought you did not wish to talk to him. Besides Loki is as likely to be elsewhere as in his rooms.”

“Where?”

“How should I know? Come on Thor, we need not upset ourselves talking of your brother, Tyr has promised to fight a bout with me and you promised to watch my victory.”

“You are confident.” Thor jokes with joviality he does not feel. It is just his luck to have come across a world with a Loki he is used to only to find them in the middle of a silly disagreement.  Or at least he tells himself that. In truth he cannot shake a sense of foreboding that this is something more serious.  Sif’s chatter as they head down there does not give him hope.

“No one faults you for giving up on him you know. I do not deny Asgard might be a nicer place to live if you two were more civil but I think accepting that simply because you share blood does not mean he is your friend might help that. Of course, there is talk, there is always talk, that Loki has designs on the throne but it is hardly as if you could not defeat him if that was the case.”

“Sif.”

“Oh alright. I will stop. Of course you are the only one allowed to insult Loki.”

Thor is glad when they arrive and she goes off to prepare.

“Don’t judge her too harshly Thor. Nor Hogun.”

“Volstagg?”

“They have no siblings. I have two daughters, barely older than babes, you know Thor, and I am well aware of how children can fight fiercely with their siblings and yet love them too.”

“I am no child.”

“No. You are not an adult yet boy but you are no child either. For one thing I have never seen a child make such a mess of things as you and your brother have.”

Thor wants to ask what has happened between himself and Loki. He cannot imagine what could have caused Loki to reject his presence. To cause their friends to advise Thor to stop caring about him. Yet unless he admits his tale he cannot ask and he finds he cannot find the energy to tell his story again to those who would not believe him at worst and would know no more than himself of how to fix this at best.

“Fandral has said he might be able to escape today to talk to you without Loki knowing.”

“Escape?”

“Hmm, yes, I suppose that is not the right word. He keeps your brother’s company of his own choice, he was not forced. Although given your response to his attempt to defend Loki, that is less surprising than that he still returns to tell you of him.”

Thor nods. He is glad his brother still has one of their friends. He does like to think of Loki alone.

“Loki must be lonely though”

Volstagg looks surprised “That is not a word I’d use. He’s spends far too much time in the company of that damned Amora and her sister if you ask me and goes off on trips Heimdall knows where. Nornheim I think Fandral said last time."

“Ah.” Thor does not think he can keep this up. For a start he has no idea who "that damned Amora" but even without that it looks as if his friends will be confused by his not complaining about Loki. He decides to make his escape saying “could you excuse me, I think I have a headache coming on.”

He heads back to his room. To see Loki and himself at such serious odds is worse than seeing Loki as a Jotun. That is never a thought he’d ever expected himself to have yet it is the truth.

He has no plans past shutting himself away from the confusion but when he reaches his rooms, Fandral sits in his solar.

“You took your time man, I was beginning to think I would need to leave a note.”

“How is Loki?”

“Much as he ever is these days. He misses you but he would never admit it. Sometimes I think he seems satisfied, he laughs more often, but he can be cruel in ways I never remember him being before.”

While his friend is at a loss, Thor retrieves the paper he brought with him.

“Could you give this to him?”

“Thor you know he will take nothing from you. He does not wish to even talk _of_ you never mind to you.”

“Why do you come then?”

“Because you ask me to and despite it all you are my friend, and because I am a fool and hope you two can be reconciled.”

“Can we be?”

 “I am not the one to ask, but come now Thor, are my hopes bearing fruit? I think this is the first time you have asked with interest rather than some odd sense of duty.”

“Do not hope for too much. You may go now.”

Fandral takes the dismissal as if it is not unexpected.

Thor heads over to his drawer and finds to his relief that his other self too, still has a sleeping draught stashed away there, a remnant from a time when his sleep had been plagued and takes it. He has no desire to stay in a world where he and Loki are at odds.

 

 

* * *

 

This time for a change, he does not wake in his bed. Instead when he opens his eyes he is in the stables.

“There.” says Loki and for a moment Thor dares to hope, this Loki looks like his Loki, “No need to trouble yourself with the Healers. Hel, I do not understand how you people get into these situations. How many centuries have you been riding for?”

His friends are crouched around too and Thor does not think any of them react too differently to Loki’s rebuke than they do at home.  

Thor has hardly dared to start to hope when he noticed that Loki is leaving. Loki cannot leave. Thor needs him here. He needs to know if his brother is here, and he needs Loki to get home if he is not.

He stands up hurriedly, and shouts “Brother!”

Loki freezes before turning round and replying “Do you mock me Odinsson?”

“Nay, Loki, if I have given offense then I apologise.”

“You have always made it very clear to me that I am only your Father’s ward and no true member of the House of Odin. Why should I believe that you mean it when you call me brother now?”

Thor is not home. Thor is not with his brother. Thor has hurt this Loki. Oh, perhaps this Loki is not his Loki but he could be. He looks like he is.

“I only wanted to thank you.”

“I’ve grown beyond yearning for your recognition, Odinsson. Thank me if you will but do not present lies to me as gifts, it doesn’t suit you.”

“Thor, leave him.” says Hogun.

Thor stops. For Hogun to offer him advice unasked means it must be necessary.

“Explain yourself later.”

Thor hears the unsaid “when you have had time to think”

He clenches his fists in frustration only to feel something crunching between the fingers of one hand. Somehow, he still has the letter the Princess had given him.  It only makes it more certain that he must speak to this Loki.

Thor does not understand how this Loki could have been born in Asgard to other parents and yet ended up in his household but he supposes it is not stranger than that Loki should be born a Frost Giant. Nevertheless, he does find it stranger for things to be so close to how they should be and yet so far. It is not as bad as the last Asgard, but he is sure that that Loki and Thor will sort it all out eventually. It is wrong for them to work against each other. Thor has always been certain their fates lay together not apart.

Or, that is, Thor had always been certain. Now he is less so. If there are worlds where he does not know Loki and worlds where Loki is not his sibling, had his former belief been only in an illusion?

He does not wish to think to. Even Loptr had found his way to his Thor, even if the fashion of their relationship is something that Thor would rather not think on.

Still he must give this to Loki. He must talk to him.

“I have thought. The delay will only give him longer to imagine more disagreements. Where will I find him?”

“I would try the library, you know he is apprenticed to that old skald there”

“Loki sings?”

“No, Thor, he records the histories, he writes, you know this, surely you did not think he came on our quests for your company?” Sif says

Thor shrugs, before he says “It matters not. I must speak to him.”

In the end it does not take too long to find Loki. First Thor thinks of heading towards Loki’s normal haunts but in the end he chooses to do otherwise. For all Loki teases him, he can find his way around the library and he heads to the history section.

“What now, your highness?” asks Loki and Thor is not so dense as to miss the sarcasm there.

“Loki”

“Sorry, Thor. I stand by the words however if not the tone.”

“Will you please look at this?” asks Thor as he passes over the piece of paper.

Loki takes it. Frowning as he does so. He looks at it for quite a few minutes, grabbing another piece of paper and scribbling on it.

Thor smiles; Loki has forgotten his presence and this scene could almost be one from home.

“Where did you find this? What poor person did you take it from?”

“A fair Princess gave it to me to aid me on my quest.” replies Thor. Perhaps it is unfair but he has not had the chance to tease his brother for many days now and this is a fair substitute.

“I am not sure I want to know what you mean.”

Loki looks down at the paper and then at Thor.

“Where does this paper come from?”

“Asgard.”

“And who brought it here?”

“I did.”

“Well.” says Loki before suddenly smiling “That explains a lot. You were odd earlier. I suppose this means you wish to return home.”

“Aye.”

“Pity. Still it must be quite fascinating. I wonder that you did not tether yourself to your home become coming here.”

“These travels are not of mine own choice”

“Ah. I did notice the magic was not yours but then that is hardly surprising.”

“Can you get me home?”

“I do not know.” Loki shrugs before continuing “In truth it is not my area. The AllFather or even Heimdall might be better people to ask. I suppose I might in time”

“I do not have time.”

“What do you mean?”

“I leave this world and enter another whenever I fall asleep”

“Oh. I need to alter this slightly then. Still unless you plan to keep yourself from sleep, I will not be able to break this today.”

“So you will not help me?”

“I can add other pages to this.” says Loki nodding towards the paper “with more for whomever you ask next, but I want something in return.”

“What?”

Loki stands up “Tell me of your world while I write. Well firstly while we walk I suppose. I need other books for this.”

Thor has his doubts that Loki will work as fast with him distracting him but he supposes this is fair. He has swapped stories with most of the versions of Loki whom he has met.

“What do you want to know?”

“So I am your brother in your world?”

“You are.”

“hah, your Allfather was kinder than mine.”

“What do you mean?”

“The King found me on the battlefield in Jotunheim, an apparently Aesir babe in a Jötnar temple.”

“Apparently?”

“I have wondered if I am not fully so. It is hardly unknown for soldiers to create Halfbreed bastards. There were quite a few mortal ones left behind in Midgard you know. Perhaps my mother left me hoping some kind-hearted Asgardian would take me in when I took after my father. Or perhaps she left me to die.”

“No Asgardian would lie with a Frost Giant.”

“No?”

Thor remembers  Loptr, but no, if this Loki’s mother had the size and magic that Loptr had, which would surely be necessary for them to lay with an Asgardian then no one with honour would abandon their pregnant lover when they could take them back to Asgard, disguised.

With more determination he replies “No.”

“If you say so. The question does remain as to why, if I am truly Aesir, he kept me in his household. You would have thought some childless couple would have taken me in.”

Thor is not sure what answer he is supposed to give to that or if even one is expected.

“Apparently in your world he and the Allmother were the ones to take me in. Odd that.”

It takes Thor some time to realise the implications of what Loki has said and by that time the other is up a ladder retrieving a book.

Thor waits for to Loki come down before he speaks but the other forestalls him speaking even as he comes down “Maybe I was a cuter baby in your world. I am quite mystified as to how I managed it.”

Thor has Loki pinned against the bookshelf and the books dropped to the floor before the other has touched the floor for a second.

“Take care what you say, Loki is my brother and I will not have you questioning that.”

Loki looks at him. “You know once I would have given anything to hear you say that.”

Thor releases him guiltily “What changed?”

“I grew up.”

Loki settles himself in a chair, though Thor notes sadly that he has placed the desk between himself and Thor.

“But Thor, tell me this, what do I look like in your world.”

“As you do here.”

“I do not deny that that your Loki is your brother, but can you truly look at me and tell me that looking as I do and looking as you do, that the two of you share blood?”

“Loki takes after our Grandmother Bestla”

“I suppose the Allfather’s mother was dark haired. Strange for that to miss a generation though.  Your hair has the gold of your mother's family and for such a lighter shade to reappear is not so odd, especially given the Allfather’s brown is not so much darker.  I have never seen such happen with hair as dark as mine though”

“You make a study of this?”

“I do not study the workings of the body. Nor am I a breeder of plants or animals, I could well be wrong. Still, it seems unlikely from what simplified explanations we were taught and I have certainly transcribed enough family histories. Freyr, light blonde of hair marries Gerdr, dark blonde of hair, their children are Frigga, dark blonde of hair and Gullveig, golden blonde of hair. I could recite such in my sleep.”

“And Loki, black of hair does not fit?”

“No. No it does not”

Thor wonders. Thus far there have been more worlds where he is not related to Loki’s those he is. If that Loki was taken to Asgard by his father, perhaps the same happened with Loki Hoenirson save that Father gave him to a childless friend, that the world without Loki was one where his father had not taken him and if that is the case then what is to say that his Loki is not the same as well and but the lucky one born in a world where Father took him as his son.

It does not explain Loptr though nor Loki Odinsdottir. Perhaps the first is not impossible if Loki is a Halfbreed and he was left on Jotunheim but no choice of Father’s would change Loki’s gender.

“I have given you much to think about.”

“You have. I am not yet convinced though.”

“No?”

“Nay, your explanation does not explain all I have seen. For one, you were female in one world.”

“What?”

“Aye, I had a sister.”

“I was a Princess? Wait you were referring to _me_ earlier?”

“I was.”

“Maybe Odin had to take me as his daughter to keep me safe from you and your advances. Humph, fair princess indeed.”

“I am not that bad.”

“If you say so, mine brother. Oh that is a strange phrase to say”

“You do not get on well with your Thor?”

“Thor is, it is difficult to say, he has always made it clear that he is Odin’s son and I am but some foundling. Yet he does truly seem to desire my company when he asks for it and other times he seems almost to be trying to apologise for something. We were closer as children I suppose but then that is not uncommon.  You Thor’s are more complicated than you look you know.”

“My Loki would say that would not take much.”

Loki laughs “He is right. I think I would like your Loki. Do you?”

“He is my brother.”

“That is not an answer.”

“It was meant to tell you it was a silly question. Loki is my constant companion, he is clever, he is funny, naturally I like him.” 

Loki sighs “It certainly sounds nicer being Loki Odinsson rather than Loki Nomansson”

Thor thinks he must be getting tired of such heavy conversation. For much of the rest of the day they talk little and of nothing of importance.

Thor sits listening to the scratching of Loki’s quill on paper. He almost doses off at one point but Loki hits him and sends him off to get food.

“Will they not think it odd I spend the whole day with you?” he asks at one point.

“Odd perhaps, but it is not unknown. Your father will be pleased at least, he has always wanted you to befriend me”

“He has?”

“He has. He is very kind actually; though I wonder if part of it is not that he hopes I will be your advisor one day”

Thor supposes it is possible and truly it is not so different from what he expects Loki will do once Thor takes the throne.

Eventually Loki deems himself satisfied with his writing and gives it to Thor.

Thor finally starts to believe his is making progress and when he heads to bed this night, he has his first true hope of getting home since Loptr had worked up what had happened.

 

 

* * *

 

In the next Asgard Thor cannot find Loki wherever he goes. He wonders if perhaps here, Loki yet again comes from Jotunheim. There has been no sign of Loki around; no stall for his horse in the stables, no rooms belonging to his brother, no sign at all that Loki was ever in Asgard.  However his supposition is contradicted when he heads back to his rooms in despair,  as he finds an old drawing Loki had done when he was very small pressed between the pages of a book.

Loki was in Asgard but he no longer seems to be here.

He is staring at the picture in confusion when Sif enters, “Thor?”

She sees what he is looking at.

“Oh Thor” says Sif softer than Thor has ever heard her “You must accept Loki’s death. It has been centuries since it happened, you have grown up, you cannot turn back time and be a child with your brother again”

No.

No. Loki cannot be dead.

Thor would not have let him die.

Thor knows it is not his Loki but right now he finds it hard to care. He had dreaded this when he had first woke on this mad journey and knowing that his Loki is alive and well, or so he hopes, does not help living through being told he is dead.

Thor’s grip on the paper tightens but he regains his senses and places it back in the book. He would not ruin this Thor’s memento of his brother.

“I should have saved him”

“Thor, a fever is neither your fault nor something that you could prevent”

Thor pushes past Sif, placing the scroll he has brought with him from the last Asgard in his pocket, and heads to the nearest inn despite the earliness of the day.

He drinks until he passes out.

 

 

* * *

 

Thor is woken by a kiss to his lips and a hand on his cock. Normally that would be a wonderful way to wake, but as he remembers what has been happening he is no longer sure he wants to open his eyes.

Conversely, if it is as he fears he cannot left let this go on.

He forces himself to open his eyes for he does not want to offend this Thor’s lover if it is otherwise.

It is as he fears.

Feeling his little brother’s hard cock brush against him while said little brother’s hand is on his own one, is high on the list of experiences that Thor has _never_ _ever_ wanted to experience. Or it would have been if he’d ever considered it a possibility. As it is the closest Thor has on his mental list of things to avoid, is walking in on Loki having sex.

 “What are you doing?!” he almost shrieks pushing Loki off him.

“Waking my husband up, I _thought_ you’d appreciate it or is this yet another strange Asgardian taboo?”

Asgardian? This Loki does not look like a Frost Giant but for a moment Thor wonders if he has returned to Loptr’s world. Surely not enough time has passed for that relationship to progress to this point though. Is it a habit of Thor’s who do not have a Loki tied to them by birth to tie to acquire them through romantic affairs?

He hopes not. He does not want to go through this again.

“Why did you have to do that?” Thor moans into his pillow, only realising a second later that he had vocalised that final thought.

“Thor? You know we have to conceive a child to solidify this alliance, and truthfully I had thought that at least was one part of our marriage that did not trouble you?”

This, Thor thinks, would be a very good moment to admit that he is not who they think he is and ask please can you put some clothes on.

Instead he blurts out “How is that even possible? Men cannot have children.”

“Oh hel, do you have some sort of mind affliction?  No one warned me of that when I agreed to marry you.”

“My mind is perfectly healthy”

“Funny how you weren’t so confused when you were pounding into my cunt last night then.”

Thor is not listening. Thor did not hear that last sentence. Maybe Thor is mad and is hallucinating this whole thing.  That would be a much better situation, in fact Thor decides, that is definitely what is happening. Nothing of the last few minutes has actually happened. He is going shut his eyes and none of this will have happened.

“Thor? You do realise that you are hitting your head against the headboard? Should I go fetch someone?”

Thor reaches for the scroll he has dropped and thrusts it at Not-Loki-Definitely-Not-Loki before burying his head back in the pillow.

The other must move as Thor feels the change of weight on the bed.

Eventually he speaks “If I understand this right, and I think I do for I have received a note of explanation of your problem with all this theory and beginnings of a spell for apparently you are not the best at quickly explaining,  then you are not my husband but a different Thor from another growth of the World Tree.”

Thor nods as best as he can with his face hidden in the pillow.

“I assume we are not married there then”

When Thor attempts to shake his head, the other spits out clearly fed up “For goodness sake Thor, look at me.”

Thor compels himself to do so. Loki’s upper body at least is nothing he has not seen before. Thankfully the man has put a robe on and not one that he has ever seen on his brother.

“So what are we then, mortal enemies? Your reaction was a tad strong for us to have never met.”

“You, he, my Loki, he is my brother.”

“You jest.”

“I do not.”

“It is impossible.”

“More impossible than my travels?”

“Yes, in fact it is. Your travels fit in with the theory at least. Our being siblings does not.”

“I tell you it is the truth.”

“I admit it would explain your response.”

“My mind is scarred forever.”

“Yes, well, that is not my fault.”

“You did it!”

“I thought you were my were my husband, you are the one on some fantastical jaunt between worlds.”

Thor moans “Why are we married?”

“Are you asking?”

“I suppose I might as well.”

“Your father wanted peace, my father wanted peace and the Casket, you were unattached, I was unattached, conveniently small and capable of living in Asgard. It’s not that difficult.”

If his father wanted the Casket of Ancient Winters, for what other Casket could it be, then Thor must have been right about the other being a Frost Giant.

“Your father is?”

“Laufey, you are slow, who else could make details on the part of the Jötnar?”

“Be fair, you do not look like a Frost Giant.” Besides which, Thor notes mentally, Loptr had maintained his own form despite sleeping with his Thor so it cannot be a necessity.

“It is easier be to more like an Aesir here, it’s too hot to be Jötunn and whatever untrained abilities flow through your blood have a habit of turning me into this form anyway when you touch me too much anyway.”

“But you have?” Thor stops unable to say the word.

The subject of his enquiries rolls his eyes as he answers “Yes, I am both male and female by your standards. I could hardly marry you if neither of us could produce children could I?”

Suddenly Loptr’s confidence made sense. Assuming the two had more in common than their race and their relationship to their Thors, then this was the situation he meant to engineer. He meant to marry his Thor, to be Asgard’s Queen and to unite their realms through their heirs. He could bring peace and keep his Thor. Hel, if sending him to Nidavellir had been a joint excursion with other Frost Giants then perhaps he already had Laufey’s blessing in his endeavour.  No wonder he had laughed at Thor’s pity.

“Is that special to you or are all Jötnar born such?”

“For the most part, I will not say none are born seeming to favour one half more, but then the opposite is true of your own race.”

“Are you not young to have children?”

“Mayhaps slightly so compared to the societal norms of your people but my body is quite capable, just as any of your maidens would be.”

Thor thinks back to the Loki who was Odin’s ward and the musings he given thought to in his world. Loki Nomansson had been found in battle and had been uncertain that he was fully Asgardian by birth. What is there to say he was actually Aesir at all rather than Jötnar. This Loki complains Thor’s touch has a tendency to make him look Aesir, perhaps his father did the same for his Loki. Certainly then it would explain that Princess Loki, if she, he, they, were born both it is not so odd to think that in one world the Asgardian skin might be female.

If Loki is Jötunn then perhaps the fever suffered by that child was no mere fluke of fate, but a fault in whatever allows him to live in Asgard. This Jötunn says he he is more comfortable here when he looks more Aesir after all.

It makes more sense than to imagine that Loki alone changes species and gender and family when no one else is so affected. It is but Loki’s history that changes. It is simply a choice Father makes. Or perhaps one Laufey makes. The other Loki had said he had been left in a temple there, he cannot see that being the case with this Jötunn.

“Are you alright Thor? You have a glazed look in your eyes.”

“I think I am having a revelation.”

“An uncommon event if you are anything like my husband.”

“Can you send me back?”

“In time perhaps.”

“We do not have time, I will leave here when I lose consciousness and awake elsewhere.”

“You were lucky you did not cause it earlier then but I suppose you do have a very hard head.”

“You are not being helpful.”

“Don’t sleep?”

Thor glares.

“In truth with what is here I could probably nudge you back towards your home but I cannot promise you will arrive there unless they are calling you back. You would have had a better chance with whoever wrote the original piece. What happened there that you could not try?”

Thor recalls his disastrous sparring exercise.

“I do not wish to speak of it.”

“Your choice. Shall we try then?”

“What, now?”

“I should rather like my husband back, you are not nearly as entertaining.”

Thor has a disturbing feeling the Jotun means sexually.  

 

 

* * *

 

“Thor!”

This time when Thor looks up he does not let himself get too hopeful.

“You look like my Loki”

Damn he feels dizzy. Never has he said something so obviously indicative of his beliefs of how the world should be so quickly since that first world.

“What?” says the Loki before looking to their Father “Father?”

If Loki calls Odin father then surely he is Thor’s brother. Of course Loki has been Thor’s brother in at least one Asgard without it being his Loki but thus far the signs seem good.

“It’s possible that Thor is still disoriented from his travels, he may have met many versions of you and perhaps not all Lokis are quite the same as you son.”

Oddly even as he reassures Loki Odin had looks as if another weight has descended on his shoulders. Or perhaps not so oddly if Thor's suspicions of his brother's orgins are true.

Loki looks at him “Who are you?”

“Thor Odinsson”

“And who are we?”

“There is my mother, Frigga, there is my father Odin, and you are Loki, my brother.”

“How old was I when you knocked me off my house to win a race?”

“I never knocked you off, you knocked me off ‘accidentally’ or so you have always claimed.”

Loki smiles “It is him Father.”

“Have you called back other versions of me before?”

“No” replies his mother “you have lain unconscious these last few days. We were beginning to worry you would not wake”

 “We captured those who did it to you, Thor, but we were unsure if we could call you back.” Odin adds.

“I am glad to be home” Thor admits “It was most disconcerting.”

“How so?”

“Loki.” Their Father says warningly.

Thor is glad. Until he has his thoughts settled his has not wish to admit to Loki what he has experienced.  Nor does he truly _ever_ want to admit that last encounter to anyone. Even now he is torn between hugging the brother he has finally got back and making sure he never touches Loki again, or at least not until he has forgotten what he has seen and felt.

Mayhaps it is better to get what he can over with.

“Father I must speak to you of what I have seen”

“Yes, Thor?”

“In private.”

“None will hear what we say here Thor”

Thor groans internally, if he finds it hard to admit to his Father then he cannot bear to have his Mother hear of his experiences and least of all Loki. How would his brother feel, if Thor’s suspicions are wrong knowing that his brother suspected him to be a Frost Giant.

Thankfully, his mother at least seems to realise.

“Come Loki, we will leave your brother and father alone.”

“Thank you Mother.”

Loki sends him a hurt look as he follows their mother out the door but then Loki does not realise how Thor protects him.

Once they are gone Thor gathers all his courage and asks,

“Does Loki hail from Jotunheim?”

“He is your brother.”

“That is not what I asked. Was Loki born in Jotunheim?”

Odin sighs before he replies, “Loki was born there, yes”

“Let me guess, you found him in a temple”

“How did you know that?”

“Turns out you did not lie in every universe.”

“Thor.”

“I don’t think so Father, is he Laufey’s son here too?”

“He is.”

“And you never thought to tell us?”

“Why? And make him feel different? Tell me Thor can you tell me you would have accepted a Jötunn as your brother.”

Thor thinks back. To how he had not accepted a Loki who he knew was not his brother despite not knowing his heritage, to how he had argued over what he still did not know with a brother he had thought to be his, to how he had attacked Loptr.

“No. No I cannot promise you that Father.”

“I thought not.”

“In the end does it matter Thor?”

Thor suddenly feels angry at his father’s calm.

“Loki is my brother, nothing will change that but of course it matters Father! I had someone who looked like my brother try to have sex with me! Do you realise how traumatising that is? Did you know the Jötnar had both genders, I didn’t, and I think that is possibly the single most disturbing way I could find out” he yells.

“Thor, I never expected you to travel to other growths of Yddgrasil.”

“No, neither did I. Did you never think of Loki though? If he was born like that will he have problems as a man? You know people have called him ergi? Hel, I went to one world and he was dead Father, dead of fever as a child, no doubt because he is not Asgardian and this climate is ill for him.”

“Loki is in no danger, Thor.”

“How can you know that?”

“Thor Odinsson, I am your father and I will have some respect from you. I would never endanger your brother. You will have to trust me.”

Thor continues to scowl.

“I realise this has been difficult for you, but I do have certain expectations of your behaviour. I will leave you now to let you think all this over.”

Odin is halfway out the door when he stops and calls out “Loki!” before sighing “Damn.”

“Father?”

“Your brother was listening to our conservation.”

“I thought you said we had privacy.”

“You make it difficult for the enchantments in the wall when you yell like that Thor. Besides your brother is talented at such, I had too much trust in him to behave like a Prince and not eavesdrop and in your mother to take him with her.”

“Should I go after him?”

“No I will talk to him. If he allows me to.”

Odin leaves Thor on the bed.

Thor looks around; there is no reason for him to stay here. He is not hurt. Or so he thought. When he tries to stand up from the bed his legs collapse from underneath him. Apparently lying there without his mind for days had not done his body any good.

He drags himself upright using the bed to pull himself up. In truth, his arms hardly manage to take the weight but in the end he is successful. Carefully leaning against the walls he makes his way back to his rooms, one small step at a time.

Eventually he succeeds.

He is hardly sat down on the bed when his mother arrives.

“Thor, you should not have left the Healers.”

“I am fine.”

She just looks at him.

“Really I am. I made it here did I not?”

Thor gets the uncomfortable feeling she knows exactly how difficult the trip was. Now is the perfect time to change the subject he thinks.

“How is Loki?”

“Trying to barricade himself in his rooms last I saw.”

“What, how does that help him?”

“Thor, Loki has just received a terrible shock. I do not think you should try to ascribe sensible reasons to his conduct. That said, I think we can maybe guess that he does not want to talk to your father. So of course that man is trying to do just that.”

“Can I go?”

“I do not think your presence will help Thor. Stay here, _rest,_ and I will see you this evening.”

“And you can tell me if I can meet Loki?”

“And I will bring you for the feast. Do not give me that look Thor, it is bad timing I know, but the entire realm has been on tenterhooks as to whether you would awake. We cannot fail to celebrate their Prince waking and if you do not appear then none with believe this is the truth.”

“And Loki? Must he go too?”

“I will try to entice your brother, but in truth it depends how your father manages to do. I will not force him.”

In the end Thor does see Loki that night though he notes that by sitting him by her side not only has Mother placed herself between him and Odin but she has also made it impossible for Thor, sitting on Odin’s other side, to talk to him without yelling across the table.

Loki says little the entire time, until he has finally stayed as long as is seemly to do at minimum and Thor sees his mother nod, whereupon Loki leaves the table.

Sif gives him an odd look.

“He expended much strength in bringing me back” Thor explains. He would not have rumours spoken of his family.

Thor stays a little longer but in the end he caves to his desire and asks for permission to leave. His Father grants it grudgingly before announcing that Thor is not yet completely recovered and needs quiet.

Thor rushes to Loki’s room.

“Can I come in?”

Loki opens the door “I suppose you might as well. No doubt you’d force your way in otherwise.”

“Loki.”

“Did he tell you what he said to me? He tells you everything else apparently.”

“Loki!”

“I mean it is not as if I deserve to know what I am, I’m only a Frost Giant, no let’s tell Thor. Father has always favoured you and now it all makes sense doesn’t it?”

“Loki, he told me because I asked.”

“Oh yes, he had to confirm your suspicions, how long how you wondered Thor? Wondered if there isn’t a reason that your brother is so imperfect.”

“It was nothing you did. It never would have occurred to me if I had not met those other Lokis.”

“So of course you went to Father first, you never thought I might want to know about myself.”

“I never wanted to upset you Loki.”

“Well, you were so successful at that.”

“I didn’t want to tell you without knowing if it was true.”

“Wanted to know I was definitely a monster before you disowned me then?”

“Brother!”

“I am not you brother, I have never been your brother.”

Thor pulls Loki towards him before enveloping him in a hug.

“Thor, what are _doing_?”

“Hugging you”

“Did you listen to nothing I said? Thor? _Thor_ are you crying?”

Oh. Oh look at that he is.

“I can’t lose you brother, not again.”

“I thought you said you met lots of me.”

“I met people who looked like you, who sounded like you, but none of them were you. I started to believe I would never see you again.”

“So now you want to trap me here?”

“No, I just, please do not leave me Loki.”

“Well, I’m hardly going to disappear from your arms am I?”

“If I let you go will you talk to me?”

“I suppose.”

Thor lets Loki lose but he reaches out and curls his hand round the side of his brother’s neck.

“I have missed you.”

“You missed an illusion, Thor, I have never been your brother.”

“No, you always have been, if this has taught me anything it has taught me that.”

“Funny, I thought it had taught you I was a monster.”

“The Jötnar are not monsters Loki. I met two of you, who were Jötnar,”

“ _I_ am Jötnar, Thor”

“You are Asgardian, no matter what your birth. And as I was saying, neither of them were monstrous”

“Really? Because Thor you flinched when you mentioned them.”

“That has nothing to do with their race.”

“What then?”

“I do not wish to tell you.”

“Oh, so it does then?”

“No it does not. Please Loki accept that.”

“You cannot use something you won’t admit to as proof.”

“One tried to have sex with me.”

Loki blinks.

“I thought I had misheard that. It is a disturbing thing to hear.”

“I promise you it was much worse living through it.”

“And you try to tell me that I am not a monster.”

Thor stares at Loki completely lost. He does not understand what his brother has extrapolated that from.  _Oh._ His _brother._

“He was not my brother, Loki.”

“Oh. How did you get into such a situation then? Did you _flirt_ with _me_?”

“What? No?  I just woke up and, he was married to his world’s Thor.”

“Your Father raised me to marry you?”

“Our Father and no, he had been raised on Jotunheim.”

“That is something of a relief. I suppose I cannot blame you for flinching from remembering a blue-skinned monster in your bed.”

“That was not why. It was easier with the other who was blue, this one looked Asgardian, he looked like you Loki.”

“So I am worse than a Frost Giant?”

“That is not what I mean. How would you feel if you woke up to me kissing you? You are my baby brother, I cannot think of you like that.”

“I am as tall as you Thor and I am not much younger. Still, I will allow that that is a highly disturbing thought and suggest that we both try and forget it.”

“And will you allow that you are my brother?”

Loki looks away and does not meet his eyes.

“Loki I refuse to finally return home, only to lose you here. Please, for all we have shared, do not deny me.”

“You ask more than you know, not everyone’s experience of Asgard is yours.”

“Loki?”

“I need to talk to Father again and Mother I suppose but yes, I suppose I can let you pretend I am your brother for a little while longer.”

“It is not pretence.”

“If you say so Thor.”

Loki sounds exhausted and Thor thinks his words sound as if they are more to placate him than something truly meant, but for now, he will accept them. 


End file.
